Nigerian Army couple who are both generals:How we met, married and coped with war
Brig.-Gen. Clifford Wanda and Brig.-Gen. Cecelia
Akagu are arguably the only couple to become
generals in the Nigerian Army. They share their
experiences with LEKE BAIYEWU
When and how did you join the Nigerian
Army?
Wanda: I started my military career as a Boy
Soldier in the Nigerian Military School in 1974.
That was my entrance into the army. After
graduating from the military school, I proceeded
to the university where I read medicine. After
graduation, I was then commissioned into the
Nigerian Army in 1986 as a Lieutenant medical
doctor.
Akagu: I didn’t know much about the army until
1984 when I went to Makurdi, Benue State. I went
out with my uncle and I saw some people
running. I asked my uncle what they were doing
and he said ‘they are people who want to join the
military.’ I picked what my uncle said and went
away. During the next intake, I went there. I had a
friend called Stella, a Calabar lady. She came to
me and said ‘Cecelia, how do you feel being called
retired Colonel Cecelia?’ That was how we went
for the form and I went for the recruitment
(exercise). During the recruitment, they were not
too sure of my name. I used to be very skinny and
slim but when they assessed me, they knew that I
was fit for the job. When they were doing the
selection, they picked a lady and said, if she was
not picked (shortlisted), I would be the second
person to be picked. When I got to the camp, they
asked if I was Monica, I said no. They said, ‘Thank
God. We didn’t want to make a mistake. We
wanted you to be among the girls to be picked.’
That was how I started the journey.
Of all the professions available to you, why did
you choose to become a military officer?
Wanda: I have always loved the army because I
first came in contact with the army through my
foster dad who was a soldier; I lived with him and
grew up with him. That was the beginning of my
love for the army. Again, I went to a primary
school that was in the barracks – a military
primary school in Enugu. From my father and
having lived in the barracks for long, I took up the
interest. In fact, I was so much in love with the
military that before I took my First School Leaving
Certificate, I insisted that I must go to military
school. I was not going to take any examination
other than a military school examination, which I
did and passed. I proceeded to military school in
1974. It would interest you to know that when he
(foster father) bought the forms from the military
school, I was so small then that they refused to
give him the forms. They requested that if I was
interested in the army, I should raise up my hand.
I raised my hand but they said I was too small.
But when there was no other person to take the
forms, they gave it to me, which I filled. I took the
examination that year and I made it to the
military school. Such was the love I have for the
army.
How did your parents and those around you
feel when you insisted on following your
military passion?
Wanda: My foster dad, who I grew up with was
already in the army. He loved it and even though
my siblings didn’t want me to go to military school
and join the army, that was what I loved they
were saying, ‘you can die, you can be injured.’ For
me, it was like an adventure. It was something I
loved. I grew up in the barracks, I saw the way
soldiers did their things – the military gear, the
discipline, and everything associated with the
military. I could not be discouraged.
As a lady, was there a time when you felt like
making a U-turn due to the rigours of the
training?
Akagu: No.
How did you meet your wife?
Wanda: We met in 1990 during our training – our
orientation course. Having been commissioned,
we started our orientation course in Jaji. We were
course mates, so to say, even though she was a
Second Lieutenant and I was a Lieutenant. We
met during the course and the relationship
started from there.
What did you see in a fellow officer that made
you woo her?
Wanda: I saw so many things in her but the most
prominent ones are that she is always cool, calm,
composed and you could see a woman who is in
charge. She doesn’t fidget; she is not the fidgety
type, she is always in charge. I saw a woman I
could trust and that would hold on if I was not
around. Above all, she was God-fearing. These are
some of the things I saw in her.
What were the qualities you saw in him that
made you accept his proposal?
Akagu: I did social science. When I was growing
up – right from secondary school – I told myself
that I was going to marry a scientist. As young as I
was, because I am dark, I told myself that I was
going to marry someone that is fair, fine and very
intelligent. We met and became very good friends.
We were however fighting at the beginning; we
were not really agreeing. I remember one of my
roommates, Toyin – she’s a brigadier general too
– telling me each time we fought that ‘is it not
you? I know you will always reconcile.’ That was
how we started until the relationship led to
marriage.
What was usually causing the fight?
Akagu: I used to be very authoritative; I always
wanted to be in charge and he was a gentleman.
Of course, if you want to marry a wife, you will try
to groom her to become who you want. I was
resistant but after some time, I changed. He used
to call me ‘small man’ and ‘Margaret Thatcher.’ I
later realised that anytime I showed such
qualities, I was not getting anything (positive)
from him. So, I advised myself that even though
I’m a soldier, I am a woman too. I decided to
humble myself and that was the end of the fights.
After overcoming the opposition to your
choice of profession, was there any opposition
to your decision to marry a fellow soldier?
Wanda: The initial thing was, ‘you have to come
back home and marry from the East.’ I’m from
Ngwo in Enugu. Remember that I said I had a
foster dad who was from the North. My siblings
and others felt that, ‘now that you have grown up
and become somebody, you better come nearer
home. If you want to marry, why don’t you come
home by marriage rather than remaining in the
North and marrying from outside of home.’
There was the opposition, not just because she is
a soldier, no; they did not oppose that. It was
because she was not from my area. We were able
to overcome it over time.
Akagu: Yes and no. My parents lived in the East,
so they know Igbo culture. Igbo was my first
language. They had to take me back to our village
for me to learn our language. I am Igala from
Ankpa in Kogi State. When I came with the
request that I wanted to marry somebody from
the East, my mother used a proverb that
summarily translates to ‘something one hears
about from afar is now right on one’s laps.’ I
invited him; they saw him and accepted him. Over
time, my parents’ opinion changed. Naturally,
people will want you to marry from your place.
What is the peculiarity in your marriage as two
senior military officers?
Akagu: Like I said earlier, even though I am a
soldier, I am a woman. The first thing women
have to learn is that they must first of all accept
who they are. The Bible has told us our roles as a
housewife, mother, home keeper and our role in
the church. I have always been relying on God for
all the things I do. I don’t argue with him. When
he takes a decision, we look at it together. In most
cases, we accept what he says. Even sometimes
when I look at the issue and I feel that it is not
very convenient for me, because he is the head of
the family, I will accept it.
There is the feeling that soldiers are
aggressive in nature and have no human face.
How have you been able to manage your
marriage to a colleague such that the man of
the battlefield is different from the man at
home?
Wanda: When people talk about soldiers being
very brutal, I don’t subscribe to it; I don’t believe
that soldiers are brutal. Yes, generally with our
training as soldiers, we use some bits of
aggression – but controlled aggression – to get a
job done. But when it comes to the home front,
we must distinguish between outside and home.
What I do is that whenever we get home, we drop
the insignias and now know that this is the home
front. Of course, being in the army together has
given us some leverage and advantage because
we complement each other in the service. If she
has challenges, she can bring them home and we
will sort them out together just like during the
course; we did things together and sorted out
issues together. If there are certain things she
doesn’t understand, she can ask me – we can ask
each other, complementing each other not only in
the family but also on the job itself. That is the
advantage.
When it comes to family life, as I said earlier, we
jettison insignias and ranks, we live as a family,
we fear God and we put God first in all we do.
When you look at Ephesians Chapter 5 verse 25, it
tells you the role of a man; you should love your
wife. That love is always there. Of course, in any
home, you have challenges. When challenges
come, you try to sort it out through the principles
laid down in the Bible.
What is the biggest challenge in your
marriage?
Wanda: There are challenges and the biggest one
I know is about postings. There is a specific one:
When I was in Liberia – I was there for almost
three years – in the 90s, she was here with our
son. When I came back, our son could hardly
recognise me. Those days, we could stay on
operations for a long time. It was a big challenge.
Of course, some of these things are the things to
consider when young people want to marry. You
must think about it, knowing that being a soldier,
that possibility of separation for a long time will
be there. Take that into consideration before
getting into the marriage. The longest was that
time I was in Liberia and she was here in Nigeria.
Of course, some postings come and she will be
there and I will be here. We’ve overcome that and
we have forged ahead with our lives.
Akagu: Like he said, when they (postings) come,
by God’s grace, we have always conquered.
What kind of feedback do you get from people
when you’re both in your military uniform and
they know that you’re a couple?
Akagu: When we go out and soldiers see us, they
salute and we will be the ones that will respond.
That is military.
Wanda: When people see us together, they might
not even know that we are a couple in the first
place. And when they get to know that these two
persons are a couple, they are surprised: ‘Oh, look
at them,’ they said. People are scared seeing the
two married generals or colonels. There is always
that fear and people have always expressed
amazement. We tell them it is by God’s grace.
Some will be bold enough to come and ask, ‘Are
you actually married?’ ‘Of course, we are married
and we have been living together all these years.’
When you were pregnant or nursing a baby
and your husband was far away from you, how
did you cope with that?
Akagu: By nature, I am a very strong person. He
would always tell me that pregnancy was not a
sickness. I happen to be the first female finance
officer, so I have female friends. They always
come and are always there for me.
Do you cook and do house chores like most
women?
Akagu: Right on the table now, you will see the
food I just cooked this afternoon.
Wanda: I just finished eating her food.
Akagu: Of course, I have to cook.
Would you encourage your children to join the
military?
Wanda: We have two children and we have given
them a choice. They have options to choose from.
If they choose to join the military, it is fine with
me. But I cannot ask or influence them to join the
military. What we did was to express our open
mind: ‘If you want to join, fine; if you don’t want
to join, fine too.’ The way it is now, they have
chosen not to join the military.
What are the reasons your children gave for
not wanting to follow your military footpaths?
Wanda: They have not given any specific reason
but I feel that maybe they are feeling
overwhelmed with what I will call ‘flooding’ or
‘impulsion.’ Their father is a soldier, their mother
is a soldier and they may want to experience a
different kind of life – a simple life. All their life,
they have been in the barracks with regimented
life and things like that. Maybe over time, they
want to have a different life experience.
Does it mean you don’t socialise at all?
Wanda: We socialite a lot. We have civilian
friends, we go out; we go to church and we go to
parties sometimes. We go to get-togethers and
things like that.
With your experience, would you allow your
children to marry a soldier?
Akagu: Like he said, if they want to marry a
soldier, so be it.
What are the challenges ahead that you will
prepare them for?
Akagu: If my daughter wants to marry a soldier, I
will tell her about my experiences. You cannot
have your husband always to yourself because
there will be instances when he can go to war or
be posted (away) and you can be alone with the
children.
How does it feel when your husband is at the
battlefront somewhere and you’re home alone
with the children?
Akagu: Let me share my experience with you: I
think I was a major then and the war in Liberia
then was very terrible. I went to see my
commander. He asked me, ‘Have you heard from
your husband?’ I said, ‘no.’ Then, he said, ‘Is he
dead? Maybe he is dead.’ I said, ‘No.’ He asked,
‘Why?’ I said, ‘Because the Bible says that my
husband will not die by the edge of a sword.’ We
are Christians and that is our promise as soldiers.
What I do in most cases is pray. There are some
instances when there were really issues because
of the war. I was always on my knees.
Are there times when he was home and you
were posted away?
Akagu: Of course, I was in Minna (Niger State).
Sometimes, I have to go on a course and I have to
leave the home and keep the children in the
hostel in school. I have worked in Minna, I have
worked in Makurdi; there are instances like that.
How do you manage the home when you are
left with the children?
Wanda: When it comes to our relationship at
home, it is not as if there is a hard and fast rule;
there is no rigid line that must be followed. If she
is not here and I am here, I will do my best to take
care of the children and do all I can for them. If
she is the one at home, she will take care of them.
The roles are not rigid. It is to ensure that our
children grow up well. That is what happens. Our
base is in Lagos but sometimes I am in Kaduna
and she is in Minna. We still remain in touch with
the children, depending on where they are. Again,
by the times the postings started coming, they
had already grown up.
While you were on the battlefield in Liberia,
what went through your mind each time you
remembered that you had a wife and children
back home?
Wanda: Mine was a little bit of worry in the sense
that I wanted to come back to them alive. As she
said, that time was very terrible. So many things
happened in Liberia. I missed them. I wanted to
come back and be with them. I was not worried
because I know the kind of woman that I married.
I know she is capable of taking care of them when
I am not there. That was my first consideration
for the marriage. That is why I used to call her
‘small man’ because she has the ability to rise to
every challenge. I didn’t have that fear. I knew she
was able to hold on until I return.
Have you had any embarrassing moment as a
female soldier?
Akagu: I used to be a very proud soldier. Those
days, we used to wear khakis and I always wanted
my uniform to be well-ironed and the trousers to
be straight. As a result of that, I used to trek from
Obalende to Army Headquarters here (Bonny
Camp) because when I sat down, the trousers
would be folded and I would not look as neat as I
always wanted to be. There was an instance I was
to share a lift with a general and the man looked
at me and said, ‘I’m sure you’re not the one that
ironed this uniform.’ I looked at him and asked,
‘Why did you say that?’ When we came out of the
lift, a soldier told me, ‘Ah, he is a general.’ I said,
‘Wow! You should have told me. I would have
asked him for the secret of his success.’ I was
always very full of myself; very proud and always
wanted to be very neat. What I also noticed is that
when people see us (female soldiers), they always
feel like ‘these ones are women.’
How is the experience of growing through the
ranks to that of a brigadier general today?
Akagu: It has not been easy but I thank God
everything has been going well. Right from being a
Second Lieutenant to a Colonel, I run my seniority
naturally with my male counterparts. Like I said
earlier, I happen to be the first female finance
officer. We all rose to Lieutenant Colonel. When I
got to Lieutenant Colonel, I got promoted twice.
The third time, I was promoted to a Colonel. This
time around, I was promoted to a Brigadier
General.
Wanda: I’ve always loved the army. I also thank
the successive Chiefs of Army Staff. Over time,
they considered me worthy to be promoted to
the next rank. Of course, there are challenges and
hurdles but most of the Chiefs of Army Staff
considered me fit to be promoted up to this rank
of Brigadier General. Also, they recognised the
services that I rendered. I am a medical doctor
and ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat) consultant, a
consultant ENT surgeon and a Fellow of the West
African College of Surgeons and the National
Post-Graduate Medical College. They (military
authorities) recognised these things and deemed
me fit to be promoted.
Akagu: I am an accountant of the Finance Corp.
Presently, I am the Director of Army Accounts
Inspectorate, Ojo.
How are your children now?
Akagu: Our first son is an architect. He has a
masters degree in architecture. He is in Abuja now
for his NYSC (National Youth Service Corps). He
has a sister; she read biology in the university.
Apart from them, we also have foster children.
We just wedded one; she is heavily pregnant and
we are expecting a baby anytime from now. We
also wedded one lady that the church gave to us
to train. We married her out last year. We are
expecting a baby very soon. There is another girl
that we have; she is from the North. You can see
that she has been distracting me. She is the little
one that we have in the house now.
There is a norm in the army that once your
wife is on the same rank with you, she is your
senior by a step. How do you feel when
saluting her?
Wanda: She is the mother of the house, so I have
to salute her. I do salute her. We must respect our
wives apart from loving them. We must honour
what they do because their work is not easy. You
will see a woman that will do the same work that
you do and she will still come back to prepare
food and take care of the children. Women have a
lot of roles to play. I don’t mind saluting her
because she is wearing one rank higher as the
mother of the house. Even now that she is
wearing same rank (with me) on the same
shoulder, that means she is two steps higher than
me.
Do you salute her in public too?
Wanda: Anywhere! I recognise her and I respect
her.
Akagu: Both of us are army officers, we come
back from work almost at the same time and I will
still dash to the kichen – sometimes in uniform –
and ensure that I still play my role as a wife and
as a mother. But what is common these days is
that young girls now have this issue of ‘when we
both do the same kind of work and when we
come back from work, men are stronger and they
should be the ones to go to the kitchen.’ It is not
realistic. Younger women should be able to
emulate some of us to have a successful home.
Akagu are arguably the only couple to become
generals in the Nigerian Army. They share their
experiences with LEKE BAIYEWU
When and how did you join the Nigerian
Army?
Wanda: I started my military career as a Boy
Soldier in the Nigerian Military School in 1974.
That was my entrance into the army. After
graduating from the military school, I proceeded
to the university where I read medicine. After
graduation, I was then commissioned into the
Nigerian Army in 1986 as a Lieutenant medical
doctor.
Akagu: I didn’t know much about the army until
1984 when I went to Makurdi, Benue State. I went
out with my uncle and I saw some people
running. I asked my uncle what they were doing
and he said ‘they are people who want to join the
military.’ I picked what my uncle said and went
away. During the next intake, I went there. I had a
friend called Stella, a Calabar lady. She came to
me and said ‘Cecelia, how do you feel being called
retired Colonel Cecelia?’ That was how we went
for the form and I went for the recruitment
(exercise). During the recruitment, they were not
too sure of my name. I used to be very skinny and
slim but when they assessed me, they knew that I
was fit for the job. When they were doing the
selection, they picked a lady and said, if she was
not picked (shortlisted), I would be the second
person to be picked. When I got to the camp, they
asked if I was Monica, I said no. They said, ‘Thank
God. We didn’t want to make a mistake. We
wanted you to be among the girls to be picked.’
That was how I started the journey.
Of all the professions available to you, why did
you choose to become a military officer?
Wanda: I have always loved the army because I
first came in contact with the army through my
foster dad who was a soldier; I lived with him and
grew up with him. That was the beginning of my
love for the army. Again, I went to a primary
school that was in the barracks – a military
primary school in Enugu. From my father and
having lived in the barracks for long, I took up the
interest. In fact, I was so much in love with the
military that before I took my First School Leaving
Certificate, I insisted that I must go to military
school. I was not going to take any examination
other than a military school examination, which I
did and passed. I proceeded to military school in
1974. It would interest you to know that when he
(foster father) bought the forms from the military
school, I was so small then that they refused to
give him the forms. They requested that if I was
interested in the army, I should raise up my hand.
I raised my hand but they said I was too small.
But when there was no other person to take the
forms, they gave it to me, which I filled. I took the
examination that year and I made it to the
military school. Such was the love I have for the
army.
How did your parents and those around you
feel when you insisted on following your
military passion?
Wanda: My foster dad, who I grew up with was
already in the army. He loved it and even though
my siblings didn’t want me to go to military school
and join the army, that was what I loved they
were saying, ‘you can die, you can be injured.’ For
me, it was like an adventure. It was something I
loved. I grew up in the barracks, I saw the way
soldiers did their things – the military gear, the
discipline, and everything associated with the
military. I could not be discouraged.
As a lady, was there a time when you felt like
making a U-turn due to the rigours of the
training?
Akagu: No.
How did you meet your wife?
Wanda: We met in 1990 during our training – our
orientation course. Having been commissioned,
we started our orientation course in Jaji. We were
course mates, so to say, even though she was a
Second Lieutenant and I was a Lieutenant. We
met during the course and the relationship
started from there.
What did you see in a fellow officer that made
you woo her?
Wanda: I saw so many things in her but the most
prominent ones are that she is always cool, calm,
composed and you could see a woman who is in
charge. She doesn’t fidget; she is not the fidgety
type, she is always in charge. I saw a woman I
could trust and that would hold on if I was not
around. Above all, she was God-fearing. These are
some of the things I saw in her.
What were the qualities you saw in him that
made you accept his proposal?
Akagu: I did social science. When I was growing
up – right from secondary school – I told myself
that I was going to marry a scientist. As young as I
was, because I am dark, I told myself that I was
going to marry someone that is fair, fine and very
intelligent. We met and became very good friends.
We were however fighting at the beginning; we
were not really agreeing. I remember one of my
roommates, Toyin – she’s a brigadier general too
– telling me each time we fought that ‘is it not
you? I know you will always reconcile.’ That was
how we started until the relationship led to
marriage.
What was usually causing the fight?
Akagu: I used to be very authoritative; I always
wanted to be in charge and he was a gentleman.
Of course, if you want to marry a wife, you will try
to groom her to become who you want. I was
resistant but after some time, I changed. He used
to call me ‘small man’ and ‘Margaret Thatcher.’ I
later realised that anytime I showed such
qualities, I was not getting anything (positive)
from him. So, I advised myself that even though
I’m a soldier, I am a woman too. I decided to
humble myself and that was the end of the fights.
After overcoming the opposition to your
choice of profession, was there any opposition
to your decision to marry a fellow soldier?
Wanda: The initial thing was, ‘you have to come
back home and marry from the East.’ I’m from
Ngwo in Enugu. Remember that I said I had a
foster dad who was from the North. My siblings
and others felt that, ‘now that you have grown up
and become somebody, you better come nearer
home. If you want to marry, why don’t you come
home by marriage rather than remaining in the
North and marrying from outside of home.’
There was the opposition, not just because she is
a soldier, no; they did not oppose that. It was
because she was not from my area. We were able
to overcome it over time.
Akagu: Yes and no. My parents lived in the East,
so they know Igbo culture. Igbo was my first
language. They had to take me back to our village
for me to learn our language. I am Igala from
Ankpa in Kogi State. When I came with the
request that I wanted to marry somebody from
the East, my mother used a proverb that
summarily translates to ‘something one hears
about from afar is now right on one’s laps.’ I
invited him; they saw him and accepted him. Over
time, my parents’ opinion changed. Naturally,
people will want you to marry from your place.
What is the peculiarity in your marriage as two
senior military officers?
Akagu: Like I said earlier, even though I am a
soldier, I am a woman. The first thing women
have to learn is that they must first of all accept
who they are. The Bible has told us our roles as a
housewife, mother, home keeper and our role in
the church. I have always been relying on God for
all the things I do. I don’t argue with him. When
he takes a decision, we look at it together. In most
cases, we accept what he says. Even sometimes
when I look at the issue and I feel that it is not
very convenient for me, because he is the head of
the family, I will accept it.
There is the feeling that soldiers are
aggressive in nature and have no human face.
How have you been able to manage your
marriage to a colleague such that the man of
the battlefield is different from the man at
home?
Wanda: When people talk about soldiers being
very brutal, I don’t subscribe to it; I don’t believe
that soldiers are brutal. Yes, generally with our
training as soldiers, we use some bits of
aggression – but controlled aggression – to get a
job done. But when it comes to the home front,
we must distinguish between outside and home.
What I do is that whenever we get home, we drop
the insignias and now know that this is the home
front. Of course, being in the army together has
given us some leverage and advantage because
we complement each other in the service. If she
has challenges, she can bring them home and we
will sort them out together just like during the
course; we did things together and sorted out
issues together. If there are certain things she
doesn’t understand, she can ask me – we can ask
each other, complementing each other not only in
the family but also on the job itself. That is the
advantage.
When it comes to family life, as I said earlier, we
jettison insignias and ranks, we live as a family,
we fear God and we put God first in all we do.
When you look at Ephesians Chapter 5 verse 25, it
tells you the role of a man; you should love your
wife. That love is always there. Of course, in any
home, you have challenges. When challenges
come, you try to sort it out through the principles
laid down in the Bible.
What is the biggest challenge in your
marriage?
Wanda: There are challenges and the biggest one
I know is about postings. There is a specific one:
When I was in Liberia – I was there for almost
three years – in the 90s, she was here with our
son. When I came back, our son could hardly
recognise me. Those days, we could stay on
operations for a long time. It was a big challenge.
Of course, some of these things are the things to
consider when young people want to marry. You
must think about it, knowing that being a soldier,
that possibility of separation for a long time will
be there. Take that into consideration before
getting into the marriage. The longest was that
time I was in Liberia and she was here in Nigeria.
Of course, some postings come and she will be
there and I will be here. We’ve overcome that and
we have forged ahead with our lives.
Akagu: Like he said, when they (postings) come,
by God’s grace, we have always conquered.
What kind of feedback do you get from people
when you’re both in your military uniform and
they know that you’re a couple?
Akagu: When we go out and soldiers see us, they
salute and we will be the ones that will respond.
That is military.
Wanda: When people see us together, they might
not even know that we are a couple in the first
place. And when they get to know that these two
persons are a couple, they are surprised: ‘Oh, look
at them,’ they said. People are scared seeing the
two married generals or colonels. There is always
that fear and people have always expressed
amazement. We tell them it is by God’s grace.
Some will be bold enough to come and ask, ‘Are
you actually married?’ ‘Of course, we are married
and we have been living together all these years.’
When you were pregnant or nursing a baby
and your husband was far away from you, how
did you cope with that?
Akagu: By nature, I am a very strong person. He
would always tell me that pregnancy was not a
sickness. I happen to be the first female finance
officer, so I have female friends. They always
come and are always there for me.
Do you cook and do house chores like most
women?
Akagu: Right on the table now, you will see the
food I just cooked this afternoon.
Wanda: I just finished eating her food.
Akagu: Of course, I have to cook.
Would you encourage your children to join the
military?
Wanda: We have two children and we have given
them a choice. They have options to choose from.
If they choose to join the military, it is fine with
me. But I cannot ask or influence them to join the
military. What we did was to express our open
mind: ‘If you want to join, fine; if you don’t want
to join, fine too.’ The way it is now, they have
chosen not to join the military.
What are the reasons your children gave for
not wanting to follow your military footpaths?
Wanda: They have not given any specific reason
but I feel that maybe they are feeling
overwhelmed with what I will call ‘flooding’ or
‘impulsion.’ Their father is a soldier, their mother
is a soldier and they may want to experience a
different kind of life – a simple life. All their life,
they have been in the barracks with regimented
life and things like that. Maybe over time, they
want to have a different life experience.
Does it mean you don’t socialise at all?
Wanda: We socialite a lot. We have civilian
friends, we go out; we go to church and we go to
parties sometimes. We go to get-togethers and
things like that.
With your experience, would you allow your
children to marry a soldier?
Akagu: Like he said, if they want to marry a
soldier, so be it.
What are the challenges ahead that you will
prepare them for?
Akagu: If my daughter wants to marry a soldier, I
will tell her about my experiences. You cannot
have your husband always to yourself because
there will be instances when he can go to war or
be posted (away) and you can be alone with the
children.
How does it feel when your husband is at the
battlefront somewhere and you’re home alone
with the children?
Akagu: Let me share my experience with you: I
think I was a major then and the war in Liberia
then was very terrible. I went to see my
commander. He asked me, ‘Have you heard from
your husband?’ I said, ‘no.’ Then, he said, ‘Is he
dead? Maybe he is dead.’ I said, ‘No.’ He asked,
‘Why?’ I said, ‘Because the Bible says that my
husband will not die by the edge of a sword.’ We
are Christians and that is our promise as soldiers.
What I do in most cases is pray. There are some
instances when there were really issues because
of the war. I was always on my knees.
Are there times when he was home and you
were posted away?
Akagu: Of course, I was in Minna (Niger State).
Sometimes, I have to go on a course and I have to
leave the home and keep the children in the
hostel in school. I have worked in Minna, I have
worked in Makurdi; there are instances like that.
How do you manage the home when you are
left with the children?
Wanda: When it comes to our relationship at
home, it is not as if there is a hard and fast rule;
there is no rigid line that must be followed. If she
is not here and I am here, I will do my best to take
care of the children and do all I can for them. If
she is the one at home, she will take care of them.
The roles are not rigid. It is to ensure that our
children grow up well. That is what happens. Our
base is in Lagos but sometimes I am in Kaduna
and she is in Minna. We still remain in touch with
the children, depending on where they are. Again,
by the times the postings started coming, they
had already grown up.
While you were on the battlefield in Liberia,
what went through your mind each time you
remembered that you had a wife and children
back home?
Wanda: Mine was a little bit of worry in the sense
that I wanted to come back to them alive. As she
said, that time was very terrible. So many things
happened in Liberia. I missed them. I wanted to
come back and be with them. I was not worried
because I know the kind of woman that I married.
I know she is capable of taking care of them when
I am not there. That was my first consideration
for the marriage. That is why I used to call her
‘small man’ because she has the ability to rise to
every challenge. I didn’t have that fear. I knew she
was able to hold on until I return.
Have you had any embarrassing moment as a
female soldier?
Akagu: I used to be a very proud soldier. Those
days, we used to wear khakis and I always wanted
my uniform to be well-ironed and the trousers to
be straight. As a result of that, I used to trek from
Obalende to Army Headquarters here (Bonny
Camp) because when I sat down, the trousers
would be folded and I would not look as neat as I
always wanted to be. There was an instance I was
to share a lift with a general and the man looked
at me and said, ‘I’m sure you’re not the one that
ironed this uniform.’ I looked at him and asked,
‘Why did you say that?’ When we came out of the
lift, a soldier told me, ‘Ah, he is a general.’ I said,
‘Wow! You should have told me. I would have
asked him for the secret of his success.’ I was
always very full of myself; very proud and always
wanted to be very neat. What I also noticed is that
when people see us (female soldiers), they always
feel like ‘these ones are women.’
How is the experience of growing through the
ranks to that of a brigadier general today?
Akagu: It has not been easy but I thank God
everything has been going well. Right from being a
Second Lieutenant to a Colonel, I run my seniority
naturally with my male counterparts. Like I said
earlier, I happen to be the first female finance
officer. We all rose to Lieutenant Colonel. When I
got to Lieutenant Colonel, I got promoted twice.
The third time, I was promoted to a Colonel. This
time around, I was promoted to a Brigadier
General.
Wanda: I’ve always loved the army. I also thank
the successive Chiefs of Army Staff. Over time,
they considered me worthy to be promoted to
the next rank. Of course, there are challenges and
hurdles but most of the Chiefs of Army Staff
considered me fit to be promoted up to this rank
of Brigadier General. Also, they recognised the
services that I rendered. I am a medical doctor
and ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat) consultant, a
consultant ENT surgeon and a Fellow of the West
African College of Surgeons and the National
Post-Graduate Medical College. They (military
authorities) recognised these things and deemed
me fit to be promoted.
Akagu: I am an accountant of the Finance Corp.
Presently, I am the Director of Army Accounts
Inspectorate, Ojo.
How are your children now?
Akagu: Our first son is an architect. He has a
masters degree in architecture. He is in Abuja now
for his NYSC (National Youth Service Corps). He
has a sister; she read biology in the university.
Apart from them, we also have foster children.
We just wedded one; she is heavily pregnant and
we are expecting a baby anytime from now. We
also wedded one lady that the church gave to us
to train. We married her out last year. We are
expecting a baby very soon. There is another girl
that we have; she is from the North. You can see
that she has been distracting me. She is the little
one that we have in the house now.
There is a norm in the army that once your
wife is on the same rank with you, she is your
senior by a step. How do you feel when
saluting her?
Wanda: She is the mother of the house, so I have
to salute her. I do salute her. We must respect our
wives apart from loving them. We must honour
what they do because their work is not easy. You
will see a woman that will do the same work that
you do and she will still come back to prepare
food and take care of the children. Women have a
lot of roles to play. I don’t mind saluting her
because she is wearing one rank higher as the
mother of the house. Even now that she is
wearing same rank (with me) on the same
shoulder, that means she is two steps higher than
me.
Do you salute her in public too?
Wanda: Anywhere! I recognise her and I respect
her.
Akagu: Both of us are army officers, we come
back from work almost at the same time and I will
still dash to the kichen – sometimes in uniform –
and ensure that I still play my role as a wife and
as a mother. But what is common these days is
that young girls now have this issue of ‘when we
both do the same kind of work and when we
come back from work, men are stronger and they
should be the ones to go to the kitchen.’ It is not
realistic. Younger women should be able to
emulate some of us to have a successful home.
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